she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
