Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Randomize
