So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Gay?
German.
Pity.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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