Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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