I feel like I'm in dance class right now
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
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