Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
