when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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