He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
