Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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