Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
