dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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