Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
