Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize