Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
