so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize
