so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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