just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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