I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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