Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize