is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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