You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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