So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
