There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Boobs speak an international language.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
