Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
worst night to have a conscience
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
