if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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