i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
