there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
