i was born a porn star she said
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I know her cup size but not her name....
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
