He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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