is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
