She said her name was "party"
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Slut skills are useful in every country.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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