Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
