So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
