I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
