Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
