"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Randomize
