i think my tv is drunk
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
