He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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