everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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