I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I am full of burrito and curiosity
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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