girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
