420 ftw
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
my being single is dangerous.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
as a side note pls kill me
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
