The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
