He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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