Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize