im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Farmville is her only friend.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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