I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
She made me pour olive oil on her.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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