so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Randomize
