Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
