....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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