It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
