I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
