THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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