is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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