ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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