So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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