Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
