Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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