spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
