the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize